(April 15,14:00-16:00) The workshop on METHODS ON DIDACTIC RESEARCH attracted many participants from different sections of ECNU and other universities of Shanghai. Prof. Andre Giordan concluded his contributions, then we wanted to give him a best gift ---The TIME !
我想,这样一段经历,一段大反差的学术体验,不仅仅在学问上是对我的一种开启,我觉的好像它让我找到一点儿感觉——我的研究该怎么做。我觉得好像有一点点知道该怎么做研究,因为研究对我来讲,是很重要的生活组成部分。我从最底层“爬”上来,其实满崇拜这样一种象牙塔内的生活的。但是从他那里,我又似乎看到这种象牙塔跟真实生活的那种无缝的链接——让我很感动。所以,我就觉得我的前半生还挺有意义,那个“爬”还挺有意义。我的另一种感受是,每一位中国的研究者,不能忘怀的就是中国这样的一种大文化!它熏陶着我们每一位在座的人。当我们学习国外先进的东西的时候,最宝贵的东西是——自己的文化之根,不要丢失了你自己!我时常跟他们quarrel,吵,甚至是,有的时候(面对教授鞠躬道歉:I’m Sorry, I’ve quarreled with you, and with my team member)。吵得……我都气得出去哭一把然后回来继续吵……其实呢,我觉得他们是有道理的,但是在两种文化当中,可能没有什么对与错;我希望我能用我自己的方式让他们更多地了解中国。正是这种不屈服之下,赢得了在整个团队中的和谐相处和最大程度的智慧分享,我觉得能得到这样的一种接纳是我在异乡生活的莫大的荣幸。(鼓掌)
Binyan Xu:刚才你给了他礼物让他休息了一下。我觉得我们其实还可以给他一个礼物,有点学术性的。他给我们传递了很多,我们也要让他带点回去。他刚才讲的I will learn if…我建议我们每一个人在If后面写出你想写的,然后汇总整理出来送给他。现在开始……
Generally, it was not bad, but I could feel that it is difficult to get a good comprehension each other. The reason, I think, is that you have not the same actions. I believe that, "sharing practice then sharing understanding". China has technology but it seems that, has not grasped the thoughts embeded in technology per se!
Yesterday morning, I shared my ppt show (Seminars of LDES) with my class participants. They were impressed by that show, or in other words, LDES’s learning ways moved them. In this ppt, the first one was “ME”. When I read that description about myself, there was an intricate feeling occured to me. After the exploration year by year, however, I lost myself. One year ago, I took these puzzles on my identity to go abroad. During living in Switzerland, I gradually called the real-me back. My heart came back to be calm and pure. Taking the “myself”, I came back home, then gradually I have lost myself again because I pressed myself to adjust to the “new” environment. Fortunately, I recalled the real-me back again just at that moment while I lost that unfair competition three days ago. One voice I am familiar with awakened me, even though it was so uncredible and so vile! It pricked my nerve centre and hurted it ! Instead of numbness or collapsing, I became clear-headed! Finally, I have had my decision which I have looked for many years!
I had leant to be strong while living alone in ......
During the past week, I consumed almost my whole energy! Prof. Jereon Van Merriënboer came, and I was pushed on the stage! In order to assistant and work in his “Instructional design for complex learning”, I had done much preparation, with reading literatures and considering questions or problems which could happen in some possible occasions. I am not a good Engilish speaker. It was not easy for me to adapt to his spoken style even though I had spent a whole day on following this big man and connected his phone in Netherlands in advance. It seemed that I had to admit I was nervous. I had not slept for 48 hours until we finished the lecture and the first section of workshop!
This is the first time for me to be an interpreter to stand on the stage. Frankly, I have had a dream to be an interpreter, to speak a foreign language with an easy flow, and I like that feeling of standing on the stage which I had possessed many years before! That day while I really was present as this role, however, I knew that, in effect, every person sitting down the stage hears the speaker clearer than the interpreter on stage, and they judge the qualification of interpreter by their own criteria. So feedbacks are omnifarious…
The most important judgment came from my self. After all, it is me that stand on the post-site of interpreter, which was supported by self-confidence. It is not only the confidence on my ability of language but the knowledge on his field that drive me to walk upstairs. So I should thank those accumulations originating from my academic life of “sitting on the cold stool” day by day, more or less lonely and dull ……and this process of being his interpreter added more knowledge into the body of accumulations. He is outstanding psychologist and designer, I feel great honored and lucky to rercept and understand his creations at close quarters.
Immersion in accumulation on the stage was very happy.
上个周忙于给LDES制作”powerpoint on me”。起因是,LDES的seminars上所有的学生想知道我的“news”,我的房东Pilar也思念有加,电话给一位秘书说了我们之间的故事。教授提议我制作一份ppt让大家看看我,并将在Seminar上展示。出于感谢各位过去的伙伴,也出于对一年来学习与工作的反思,将他们优秀的东西拿过来,用在自己的工作中,所以,开始利用春节假日的时间,整理我的异乡生活。分“seminar”, “people” 和“activity”等几个部分。已经完成了第一个部分,我用中国民歌“一剪梅”作为底音融合在这份ppt的播放中,别说,效果还真是不错,我自己竟然被感动了。将其寄给了教授,他看后非常高兴,认为这interesting but mainly beautiful 的作品是给LDES的一份“good gift”。这份ppt还有我写的一些其他的报告都将挂在lDES的网站上(www.ldes.unige.ch)。
标题:A glimpse: yesterday I was at seminars of LDES, today….
Preface:ME
Who am I? It is not a simple question.
PEI Xinning, my name, who is an ordinary person with multiple identities in our common social life, who had been educated in radical Chinese tradition while lives in a radical Chinese modern culture…
Regarding my profession, I work for East China Normal University, but it seems that my speciality is hardly classified into existing cycles of education according to existing rules, esp. in today’s China... I had been a middle school teacher, a university teacher, a chemist, aneducational researcher and now I intend to be a learning scientist..….
I like to try many things, esp. something related to beauty. Most friends of mine evaluate me as:
You are on the road all the time!
However, I also am apt to be absorbed in one thing….
I am easily affected; a scene, a story or a character, many things can touch me.
All those characteristics mentioned above emerged when I was at LDES, because beauty exists there.
I have spent almost one month on adapting to the situation of my workplace. It is not a new situation; it is still an old situation. So I know, it’s me that has been changed. This kind of change would lead to some other changes related to my present and future status, I’m afraid. Now I can not say clearly whether these changes are good or not, however, though they have let me feel some disagreeable. That passion, desire for my new plan made before I came back, now can hardly come into the “state”. 30 days has passed, what I had to do is to think which line I should stand on? God! I have less this kind of wisdom. This is my disadvantage. It’s too difficult to me to choose a right line in such hurried action. OH, God! What I want only is to do those things worthwhile to be done and I am interested in. My time, my life, where are you?
A web-friend wrote me: Don’t hope too much to the education of China. I was not convinced, because I put my hands on my chest and I can touch that tone from it. I felt I could do some things. I believed China and China’s education will be flourishing.
Then an ideal, or more precisely, the ideal of an education worker can hardly come true, esp. today, in some place where education is researched intensively.
To live is difficult! I was told by a professor. Now I understand it.
If you still hold an ideal, esp. that “ideal for education future”, You have to take most part of your life to confront resistances from different directions. It is important for a researcher to put most part of his/her energy to engage in choosing a “line”----where he/her should stand on rightly. Once he/her stood on a wrong one, would which mean that the ideal might tend to be dead….
Day by day, one by one, researcher with that kind of ideal can not possess of calm minds which is necessary for thinking, and gradually lost the needs for them. Within a fretful atmosphere, writings with flippancy and inanition gradually become a fashion. Education now is becoming a “market” regulated by the lever of pure profit.
Whether should the academic conscience of an education researcher be demanded or not? Where should it be found?
Last week, I attended to a “parents meeting” hold by my son’s school. I was affected by those desires and expectations of teachers . It let me touch again the tone of my heart---an ordinary educationist’s heart with conscience.
Yesterday, I was present at a seminar at my experimental school, I discussed with some master teachers. I was educated by their ideals and creation for the future classrooms. The hope of mine was re-fired.
……
At alien place, I experienced that feeling of “solitude” when I met that man who let me to pronounce this word again and again… …And just from that moment, I have known the meaning of the world for one person. In effect, I felt I was not lonely even though I was alone, because I could touch that tone from my heart.
Now no body let me pronounce that word, however, a wave of “solitude” is surging over my body...
I can endure any ways of isolation because I have learnt to be strong during those days I was alone.
Life provides many choices for each person. Perhaps a piano I have longed for many years would be at my room in advance!
A person, who is often bespattered by others, must be an important role. ----Last night I received this short message.
It is a great pleasure for me to work with Prof. André Giordan and my teammates at LDES.
365 special days and nights, has being flashed by! While each is beautiful……
I have got warmhearted care from you, which let me feel that such an internationally influential team---LDES is more like a family.
I love the family!
Thank you to the family: André Giordan, Julen Ajuriaguerra, Anne Fauche, Francine Pellaud, Claudine Poupeny, Grégoire Lagger, and Sébastien Baelde, who share your research findings, thoughts, brightness and life stories openly with me.
Living in this harmonious family, I have being apperceived and enjoyed collaborations and intelligence distributions among members, and the collective contributions from the whole team; I thus began to understand how the culture of an excellent organization has been gestated.
I wish what I have written here shows how much I enjoyed spending time with you!
Here are special greetings and the best of wishes, too ----
May Christmas and the coming year bring happiness to you, wherever you go!
I admit, I have been indulging in the thinking of ALLOSTERY for many days, because I think it could be a very fine and subtil key which might open the doors and let the mind go through different approaches……
sometimes, in some situations, there is a disappointing feeling to occur to me,
Oh, distance!
Though it is far, this can be touched;
Though it is so near, this may refuse to be accessed!
“I haven’t made clear about my questions but maybe you can help me to arrange them…… ”
Firstly, I have been wondering whether the pattern is proper for introducing your theory to my Chinese colleagues. For some theories, they have a long history in Europe but just a beginning in China. I think you are right but I don’t want to hurt my colleagues! So I have to use a special way to coordinate this unbalance. But where can I find the special way?...... maybe I can use a story or an experience of mine in LDES …..just like I made a wrong tea…as an index…...to let my Chinese colleague receive your points convincingly in such context……
“I really like this kind of research! How do you produce your model from them? ”
教授在我的本子上画出了一张modeling图。我拿出了早上起床前乱画的那张图……
God! 太相似了!
“For me, I’d like to precisely understand the correspondence between your model and allosteric enzyme…… Learning is a change happened to the active site; teaching can not touch directly on the active sitebut rather, by use of the operation of environment, can act on “allosteric sites”, which can facilitate the change on active site!......So learning is …, and teaching means not only to create or design the environment but ……… if you agree with my appreciations on your model, I’d like to say, you have made a significant contribution to the meaning of teaching! Your model has given a meaningful explanation the environment of learning/ teaching, it proves that didactic environment is not only could be but must be!”
……
“你已经decode…….”教授睁大眼睛, 我看到,此时他的眼神里流露出来的是一种感动…..
“It is too important for me! It has puzzled me for many, many days! THANK YOU!”我相信,教授也看到了我的感动…